eatabutt420:

fuckinglesbian:

thorsies:

having seaweed rub against u when ur swimming in the ocean is like having satan slowly caress ur legs and toes while smiling creepily at u and whispering “mayonnaise”

I feel so uncomfortable

this is one of the funniest things i’ve ever read

stellavee:

STOP, YOU’RE TEARING THIS FAMILY APART

stellavee:

STOP, YOU’RE TEARING THIS FAMILY APART

thenames-hiccup:

yo mama jokes don’t work very well here

absinthecake:

When people ask how you’re doing at the end of the semester

image

precumming:

when youre trying to get somewhere but the person in front of you is walking extremely slow

image

zftw:

genderthief:

i gave my dog a tortilla chip ten minutes ago and she won’t fucking eat it she’s just staring at me with it in her mouth 

she’s waiting for the salsa

zftw:

genderthief:

i gave my dog a tortilla chip ten minutes ago and she won’t fucking eat it she’s just staring at me with it in her mouth 

she’s waiting for the salsa

punkrightsactivist:

punkrightsactivist:

how do you find out if a fourteen year old smokes weed

just talk to them for like two minutes

idiotsonfb:

immediate regret.

idiotsonfb:

immediate regret.